6 Secrets to Falling in Love With Yourself

Doris Kono
4 min readJun 22, 2022

Sometimes life becomes boring. The will to live, to do the things you always dreamed of, becomes an uphill task. Then the feeling of not being good enough starts creeping in. You start feeling worthless. Often, the best thing is to isolate as going out will only remind you how much of a failure you are.

We all have found ourselves in that rut. It worsens because we cannot figure out ways to pull ourselves out.

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you started to love yourself? What will happen when you direct the good things you do to others to yourself?

Well, in this article am going to tell you the secrets that can help you fall in love with yourself once again and help you come out of the downward spiral and self-sabotage mission.

When you love yourself, you genuinely start to like yourself, including your worth and capabilities. You now stop seeking validation from friends, family, and romantic partners.

In our culture, the pressure to get married and start a family begins when you reach a certain age. They forget that having a partner cannot bring completeness and solve certain personal issues. You must fall in love with yourself before you can love somebody else.

Below are some of the secrets to falling in love with yourself.

1. List and reflect on your accomplishments

We all make to do-do list but never take the time to make a list of our accomplishments. Having a list of what you have achieved has numerous benefits that include the following:

Ø It reminds you of how much you have achieved.

Ø It helps to show your capabilities.

Ø It gives you pride and admiration for yourself, sparking the force that pushes you to achieve more.

When you feel good about your accomplishments, you love yourself more.

2. Talk to yourself Kindly

Please talk to yourself the way you talk to young children. I realized that when I talk to young kids in a soft and sweet voice, they are more likely to pay attention. Moreover, I was more likely to get those cute smiles, hugs, and kisses from them.

When I realized that I was self-sabotaging with the negative thoughts and unkind words, I chose to start being kind to myself. That is, whenever I am talking to myself, I change the tone of voice and adopt the one I use when speaking to my young nephews and nieces. I can assure you, listening to that sweet and tender voice does wonders.

Also, it’s not just the tone of voice but the kind of things you say to yourself. Learn to speak positive and uplifting things about your life.

3. See yourself through the lens of someone that loves you

Look in the mirror and think of someone that genuinely loves you. It can be your spouse, your child, or your best friend. Picture that person.

Ø What do they see in you?

Ø How would they describe you?

Ø What things do they like about you?

Ø What do they say about you being their friend, spouse, or parent?

Ø Why do they love you?

By answering these questions, you will become aware and focus on the good aspects of your life. You will also realize you have enough love to give yourself and others.

4. Change the things that you don’t like about yourself

There is little you can do about the things you don’t like in other people. But it is different when it’s about you. Don’t you like your current body? Then hit the gym. Are you feeling bad about your financial status? Then get a side hustle, do extra hours, hustle hard, and get that bag. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and doing nothing about it.

The good thing is that you can always change the things you don’t like about yourself or your life. Fall in love with yourself by working on the things you don’t like about your life.

5. Develop good habits

Whether good or bad, habits set the tone for your life. So, it is wise to develop good habits. In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear lays out a bunch of do’s and don’ts for creating good habits and breaking bad ones. Habits get stronger over time and become automatic.

Over the years, I have developed the following positive habits

Ø Waking up at 5 am

Ø Drinking 2l water

Ø Journaling and practicing gratitude

Ø Walking 2 miles a day.

There is no way you cannot love yourself when you have good habits.

6. Stop the comparison

Comparison causes resentment in one’s life. At one point, you have looked at somebody else and said, ‘I wish I could have the kind of life she has’ or ‘I wish I could have such a killer body.’ To love yourself, you need to stop comparing and start appreciating whatever you have.

And whatever you don’t like, take the necessary actions to change it.

You also have to remember that we all walk on different paths.

I hope these tips will give you a head start to loving yourself. Always remember you’re worthy and capable of achieving your wildest dreams. Don’t stop. Just keep pushing.

It is a wrap for today. Like, share, and follow for more amazing content.

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